A long, strange trip

Don Draper's myriad intonations of the word, all in one video.

JK Rowling told Oprah that she might return to the wizarding world of Harry Potter for a new book someday. Wasn't it bad enough that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was one of the worst endings to a series since Batman & Robin ? What more can she do? Write a book about Harry Potter's boring life as an adult? Harry Potter and the Wizard's Business Audit ? Maybe this time Ron will get mad at Harry like he did... every other time things got a bit stressful. Maybe, instead of writing a new book, Rowling can take the George Lucas route and just re-release each of the books 20 years later with expanded chapters, new scenes and characters to make the story "complete."

First, President Obama shows his overly-PC, anti-Christmas side by giving a speech the same night as ABC planned to air "A Charlie Brown Christmas." And now, apparently, his State of the Union address will be the same night as the final season premiere of Lost on Feb. 2. Exactly how un-American does President Obama want to be? And more importantly, what exactly does President Obama or his administration have against ABC as a network? You don't see him scheduling addresses against The Simpsons or anything.

These countdowns and count ups keep changing, but hopefully this will be the last time, as I start my new job at the Northwest Herald on Monday. So, the question becomes, how do I fill my days until I start my new job? Today, I'm watching the first season of the original Transformers cartoon. Tomorrow, I may need to go out and buy season 2.1. The original cartoon, from 25 years ago, is starting to fall into "so bad it's good" territory, although it's certainly better than a lot of other fare from back in the day (I'm looking straight at you, Thundercats - I can't even watch a full episode of that anymore). The best example I have right now is in the first episode, when CLiffjumper and Hound are doing recon and find the Decepticons. Instead of listening to Optimus Prime's orders of "Just find 'em," CLiffjumper aims his weapon. When questioned, he says he has Megatron dead center in his viewfinder. So he fires... and misses. I thought you h...

Just a pair of items that have been bothering me. Way back on Day 7, Stacey and I were at the mall, where I bought myself a dashing new winter coat. As we were walking through the mall to JC Penney, I saw something that absolutely appalled me: the mall already had set up its "Holiday Village," complete with photo ops with the guy in the red suit. It's still October! I know we all like to start the holiday season early, but can we PLEASE get through Halloween before the Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/whatever decorations get broken out? This can only lead to one thing: ABC playing a double feature of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas." On the same night. In September. Also: when it rains, and you're using something the size of a beach umbrella to keep yourself dry, you damned well better know how much space you have on any given size. Otherwise, it's like someone who's used to driving a Beetle parallel pa...

Back when this year started, on Day -8, for the first time in a long time, I made a few New Year's resolutions. To the shock of everyone - well, mainly me since I'm the only one who would care - I've actually followed through on them. The two resolutions that I thought would be the hardest to maintain are the ones that are now coming through. When the year began, I told myself I would quit smoking by the time I was 30. I have 28 days left in my 20s as I write this and I haven't had a cigarette in almost three months (it'll be three months in about a week and a half). Sure, a trip to the hospital was instrumental in helping me quit, but you take what you can get, right? The other resolution was to start going to the gym. While I was in North Adams, I had signed up for a $10 per month gym membership that I ended up never using. And after moving to Palatine, Stacey had been bugging me for months to start going to the gym with her, but because of my health issues, I alw...

Days like today I really miss living in Central New York. It's not that I'm homesick, or that being in Central New York is so much better than being in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. It's the driving I miss. A day like today would be the perfect time to get in my car, roll down the window and go for a drive, going to visit any of the myriad friends I have a couple hours away, or just getting in the car to enjoy the weather and just drive around. I suppose I could get in my car and go for a drive here, but it's not the same. I don't know the area like I did Central New York. After all, I lived there for almost 10 years. And outside of my sister down towards Chicago, I don't really know anyone in the area. Plus, my car has been legitimately deemed a death trap by a mechanic just a month ago. I always suspected, but now I have proof. So instead, I'll sit on my balcony with my laptop and ponder what I'm going to do today or tomorrow or sometime later this...